I don’t want a Wifey…
“A wifey is just an over-glorified girlfriend…”
Wifey is a term that men (or grown boys) selfishly created. A wifey is nothing more than a trophy girlfriend with the appearance of a wife. Its like a front. Why would I want that?
What really trips me out how men sold it as something women should aspire to be. And I have to give it to them, they sold it well. They really did. There are a lot of women out there bragging that they’re “wifeys”. It’s like men getting all the benefits without the marital commitment. Honestly…think about it. Why would a man want to “put a ring on it” if he’s getting everything without it? He has no reason to step up and further that commitment. Just being honest.
Battle of the Heart
“If you battle for the heart…you will always lose…”
The heart is something that has to be given to you. It’s a gift, not necessarily something to be fought for. But it is something that you should strive for. You should work for the heart. Just don’t try to snatch it. I believe if its meant to be yours, you will receive it. Or let me put it in lamer terms… Don’t try to snatch someone away from someone else. Everyone has the gift of freewill. Everything starts with a decision.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Conversations: Pillowtalk
From the chapter, Conversations: Pillowtalk.
Words between the Dreamer and Queen Potential
“...thank you for being you. Thank you for being here for me. I’m horny. Lol. But for real…I miss holding you, kissing you, holding your soft hands. I’m so glad to have you next to me… I know I need to get up, but I just wanna lay here with you. Besides…I’m so lovin’ your silky thighs on top of me… sexyyyy.” *kiss*
She is my Reminder. She reminded me everything I ever wanted in a woman. Over the past few years, I allowed Reality to seep into my Dream. I was injected with Compromise and didn’t even know it. It took for me to see her Character to realize what I lost sight of. No one is perfect, true enough. But it’s the fact that she acknowledges her imperfections. Of all the great qualities she processes, I think what really attracts me to her is her Honesty. She’s so honest and genuine. And the way I speak and write about her, it seems like I make her into some kind of goddess or something. But she’ll be the first to tell you..she’s just a simple woman. Trying to find her way like everyone else, be closer to God. But she’s REAL about it. She’s quick to tell me what she knows and don’t know, and her willingness to learn as she go. While everyone is playing the selfish strategy, she’s being completely selfless. She gets it. Our situation or circumstance may not be perfect, but as long as both of us remain completely honest and open…it’s okay. We can work through it.
From Queen Potential…
“Right now, I can honestly say I’m not thinking what am I going to do with you. I’m thinking what can’t I do with you.”
“…and you are my king. You move me. You bring out the woman that I should be. Dreamer, you make me feel incredible. I’m still learning. But, I’m willing to learn with you in my life.”
“You’re such a blessing Dreamer. But, I don’t know if you’re my blessing.”
Her Prayer:
God, let us not follow our own desires, but seek your will. In a situation where only your understanding is key. Help us to listen to your voice. Help us to put you first in all that we do. And allow you to take full control over our lives. You said that if we have faith the size of a mustard seed, we could move mountains. Help us to hold on to that faith. Be with the Dreamer and I each and every day. In Jesus name, Amen.
Words between the Dreamer and Queen Potential
“...thank you for being you. Thank you for being here for me. I’m horny. Lol. But for real…I miss holding you, kissing you, holding your soft hands. I’m so glad to have you next to me… I know I need to get up, but I just wanna lay here with you. Besides…I’m so lovin’ your silky thighs on top of me… sexyyyy.” *kiss*
She is my Reminder. She reminded me everything I ever wanted in a woman. Over the past few years, I allowed Reality to seep into my Dream. I was injected with Compromise and didn’t even know it. It took for me to see her Character to realize what I lost sight of. No one is perfect, true enough. But it’s the fact that she acknowledges her imperfections. Of all the great qualities she processes, I think what really attracts me to her is her Honesty. She’s so honest and genuine. And the way I speak and write about her, it seems like I make her into some kind of goddess or something. But she’ll be the first to tell you..she’s just a simple woman. Trying to find her way like everyone else, be closer to God. But she’s REAL about it. She’s quick to tell me what she knows and don’t know, and her willingness to learn as she go. While everyone is playing the selfish strategy, she’s being completely selfless. She gets it. Our situation or circumstance may not be perfect, but as long as both of us remain completely honest and open…it’s okay. We can work through it.
From Queen Potential…
“Right now, I can honestly say I’m not thinking what am I going to do with you. I’m thinking what can’t I do with you.”
“…and you are my king. You move me. You bring out the woman that I should be. Dreamer, you make me feel incredible. I’m still learning. But, I’m willing to learn with you in my life.”
“You’re such a blessing Dreamer. But, I don’t know if you’re my blessing.”
Her Prayer:
God, let us not follow our own desires, but seek your will. In a situation where only your understanding is key. Help us to listen to your voice. Help us to put you first in all that we do. And allow you to take full control over our lives. You said that if we have faith the size of a mustard seed, we could move mountains. Help us to hold on to that faith. Be with the Dreamer and I each and every day. In Jesus name, Amen.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
What am I going to do with you?...
"What am I going to do with you?..."
That's her response in laughter to my words. My random thoughts and sayings tickle her so much. I can imagine her almost sharing tears laughing as I tell her about my day.
"What am I going to do with you?...", she says jokingly. But at the same time, I know she is serious. Its funny how we both laugh as we lie together in the dark. Her warm smooth skin, snugged right next to me. I enjoy our nightly pillowtalk. But we're both asking ourselves the very same question. What are we going to do? As much as I stay to myself, I occasionally find myself in these "complex" situations. Many say Love is complex. I disagree, because what most of us experience isn't Love...its like "Pre-Love". Its like you're riding the path to Love and once you realize you're on that path...you become scared. And you scared, because you become vulnerable. You're vulnerable because this path cannot be predicted. You're riding the path blindly, taking your chances. It's risky, its a thrill, its scary, but you loving every second of it. :) At the same time, you're thinking of that old saying: "Hope for the best, expect the worst.” But I try not to bother myself with these thoughts during these moments. I enjoy her company. She enjoy mine. Simple as that.
We haven’t known each other long. But we talk as if we been the best of friends for months. Its crazy. I love it when I can have initial chemistry but it really bother me when its too good, you know? I have this personal belief that its good to keep the fire going, but not blazing for too long…or else it will burn out. So I try to walk this fine line of keeping the fire burning constantly at a steady pace. It’s apparent that our feelings disagree. Each word, each moment drives our emotions crazy. We found ourselves at this passionate stage of our friendship so fast. I hate it. I love it. I’m scared as hell. Remember “Disappearance of Innocence”? (reference: the first book, The Queen and I) I’m really trying not to relive that. But who knows what the future holds? …well, besides God of course. Lol.
We have this saying…”Don’t run from it!!!” *smiles* We talk, we play, we wrestle. Get to the point when she pins me down. (I always let her win.) She’s on top of me. She looks down on me with this pretty smile. I’m looking up enjoying the view. And this time, she says again…”What am I going to do with you? Maybe I need to stop talking to you.” I smile and tell her, “Don’t run from it!!! Embrace it!!!” and I proceed to tickle her. I really care about her.
I imagine most of us been through this before. You meet someone. It starts out so innocent and casual. Then BAMMM!!!! Your emotions are running wild. You have no control. That fire of passion is burning hot and fast. All you can do is hold on and try not to let go. ….but then, the season is over so soon. It’s short-lived. And I don’t want that to happen with this. I hope and like to see this grow. But what can we do but wait and see?...
(thinking silently…)
I’ve learned or at least I think I did…we shouldn’t over analyze these situations or over-complicate them. Just take it back to the basics… I enjoy her. She enjoy me. That is all that matters right now…
That's her response in laughter to my words. My random thoughts and sayings tickle her so much. I can imagine her almost sharing tears laughing as I tell her about my day.
"What am I going to do with you?...", she says jokingly. But at the same time, I know she is serious. Its funny how we both laugh as we lie together in the dark. Her warm smooth skin, snugged right next to me. I enjoy our nightly pillowtalk. But we're both asking ourselves the very same question. What are we going to do? As much as I stay to myself, I occasionally find myself in these "complex" situations. Many say Love is complex. I disagree, because what most of us experience isn't Love...its like "Pre-Love". Its like you're riding the path to Love and once you realize you're on that path...you become scared. And you scared, because you become vulnerable. You're vulnerable because this path cannot be predicted. You're riding the path blindly, taking your chances. It's risky, its a thrill, its scary, but you loving every second of it. :) At the same time, you're thinking of that old saying: "Hope for the best, expect the worst.” But I try not to bother myself with these thoughts during these moments. I enjoy her company. She enjoy mine. Simple as that.
We haven’t known each other long. But we talk as if we been the best of friends for months. Its crazy. I love it when I can have initial chemistry but it really bother me when its too good, you know? I have this personal belief that its good to keep the fire going, but not blazing for too long…or else it will burn out. So I try to walk this fine line of keeping the fire burning constantly at a steady pace. It’s apparent that our feelings disagree. Each word, each moment drives our emotions crazy. We found ourselves at this passionate stage of our friendship so fast. I hate it. I love it. I’m scared as hell. Remember “Disappearance of Innocence”? (reference: the first book, The Queen and I) I’m really trying not to relive that. But who knows what the future holds? …well, besides God of course. Lol.
We have this saying…”Don’t run from it!!!” *smiles* We talk, we play, we wrestle. Get to the point when she pins me down. (I always let her win.) She’s on top of me. She looks down on me with this pretty smile. I’m looking up enjoying the view. And this time, she says again…”What am I going to do with you? Maybe I need to stop talking to you.” I smile and tell her, “Don’t run from it!!! Embrace it!!!” and I proceed to tickle her. I really care about her.
I imagine most of us been through this before. You meet someone. It starts out so innocent and casual. Then BAMMM!!!! Your emotions are running wild. You have no control. That fire of passion is burning hot and fast. All you can do is hold on and try not to let go. ….but then, the season is over so soon. It’s short-lived. And I don’t want that to happen with this. I hope and like to see this grow. But what can we do but wait and see?...
(thinking silently…)
I’ve learned or at least I think I did…we shouldn’t over analyze these situations or over-complicate them. Just take it back to the basics… I enjoy her. She enjoy me. That is all that matters right now…
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Scenario: Love or Logic
Scenario: Love or Logic
“….You can’t control your emotions, but you CAN control your actions. Act wisely.” -Blue
It is time. I can’t run from it any longer. I have to face my fear. For months, I hoped I never had to address it. I tried forgetting about it. Failed. I tried keeping my distance. Failed. And now…here I am standing face to face with one of the hardest things I ever have to do… express my feelings.
Funny, huh? My life consists of speaking in front of my peers, to lead, give advice, make hard decisions…doing things others don’t like to do. Yeah…some of that is hard. But compared to expressing your innermost feelings to someone, it’s nothing. You’re vulnerable. That brick wall surrounding your heart is torn down. I think the hardest part of it all is the fact I can’t foresee its conclusion. I’m an analyzer. I like to step back and analyze the whole playing field. Its like chess…I try to stay moves ahead of everyone else. I try to predict their movements, their reactions. I try to think of every possibility. So when its game time, time to face the situation…I’m comfortable. I pretty much thought everything out. I like to think that I thought about their reactions before they did. I analyze for sport. I eliminate all opportunities for surprises. Both feet are grounded and ready for anything. It’s a good feeling…
But when it comes to Love… I think that’s when God really shows his sense of humor. He takes my Logic and tosses it out the window. The same rules don’t apply here. My insight is eliminated. I have no inside information. Its like God blindfolds me, and I’m forced to play in the dark. Hate it. Lol. But at the same time, I can appreciate its mystery. Its eerily exciting. It makes me nervous. I become anxious. And knowing Logic is useless in this arena, I still try to use it. …it sucks.
So now…here I am. The one that usually gives advice, is asking for it. I’m heavy in prayer. Asking God more questions starting with “why?”. Everything happens for a reason. And I’m always trying to figure out what it is. But when it comes to Love…no luck. So…what do you do? What any man in my position would do…face the fear. Live a life with no regrets. I know she knows. I also know she’s been aware of my feelings for awhile. But the unknown factor…the factor that bugs me the most…how will she respond? How will she react? What will be her first words after I let these feelings and emotions flow off my tongue? Will this be the conclusion or just the beginning? Is she really… the One?
For now, only God knows…and soon I will find out.
“….You can’t control your emotions, but you CAN control your actions. Act wisely.” -Blue
It is time. I can’t run from it any longer. I have to face my fear. For months, I hoped I never had to address it. I tried forgetting about it. Failed. I tried keeping my distance. Failed. And now…here I am standing face to face with one of the hardest things I ever have to do… express my feelings.
Funny, huh? My life consists of speaking in front of my peers, to lead, give advice, make hard decisions…doing things others don’t like to do. Yeah…some of that is hard. But compared to expressing your innermost feelings to someone, it’s nothing. You’re vulnerable. That brick wall surrounding your heart is torn down. I think the hardest part of it all is the fact I can’t foresee its conclusion. I’m an analyzer. I like to step back and analyze the whole playing field. Its like chess…I try to stay moves ahead of everyone else. I try to predict their movements, their reactions. I try to think of every possibility. So when its game time, time to face the situation…I’m comfortable. I pretty much thought everything out. I like to think that I thought about their reactions before they did. I analyze for sport. I eliminate all opportunities for surprises. Both feet are grounded and ready for anything. It’s a good feeling…
But when it comes to Love… I think that’s when God really shows his sense of humor. He takes my Logic and tosses it out the window. The same rules don’t apply here. My insight is eliminated. I have no inside information. Its like God blindfolds me, and I’m forced to play in the dark. Hate it. Lol. But at the same time, I can appreciate its mystery. Its eerily exciting. It makes me nervous. I become anxious. And knowing Logic is useless in this arena, I still try to use it. …it sucks.
So now…here I am. The one that usually gives advice, is asking for it. I’m heavy in prayer. Asking God more questions starting with “why?”. Everything happens for a reason. And I’m always trying to figure out what it is. But when it comes to Love…no luck. So…what do you do? What any man in my position would do…face the fear. Live a life with no regrets. I know she knows. I also know she’s been aware of my feelings for awhile. But the unknown factor…the factor that bugs me the most…how will she respond? How will she react? What will be her first words after I let these feelings and emotions flow off my tongue? Will this be the conclusion or just the beginning? Is she really… the One?
For now, only God knows…and soon I will find out.
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