My Thoughts...A Letter.

My thoughts…

I spent many daydreams imagining the “perfect” relationship. My mind used to wander and think of everything down to the finest detail. I used to think of everything from the way she looked, the way we would meet, the whole flow of the relationship. I spent many nights talking to God, excited about the woman He had set aside for me. I believe everyone to some extent fears loneliness. I’m a man of solitude but even I have to admit, I have nights when I crave female companionship. Not just any female, but the one God has set aside for me. During those times, I would talk to God like King David spoke to Him…honestly revealing all my thoughts and feelings I’m going through whether it’s good or bad. Sometimes I even wondered if God was listening to me, laughing at me or even thought my feelings were silly. I mean…it wasn’t like I was praying to be a pimp or a manwhore. I was praying (and still am) for a relationship that I believe God wants for every man and woman to experience. And now…I believe He answered that prayer. Of course, all that I imagined didn’t happen but regardless of the circumstances…we met. I believe He led me to you.

For the past couple of months, I been trying to write and outdo any love poem I wrote in the past. I wanted to write the most beautiful poem you have ever read. I was holding myself to such a high standard, that nothing I wrote was good enough. I just couldn’t do it. So I figured I was trying too hard. I decided to keep it simple and easy to understand, instead of writing the biggest metaphors I wouldn’t even understand.

We have not known each other for very long. Love isn’t a word either of us takes lightly. Love takes time and I believe you understand that. I do believe however that the direction we’re going is leading us to it. I look forward to exploring the depths and experiencing a relationship beyond my wildest dreams. I pray everyday for you, me, this relationship, the future and for the wisdom and guidance to be the man God desires me to be and the man I need to be to ensure this relationship is a success. I have made mistakes in the past I vowed I would never do again. I spent years learning, training for this moment…for you.

I just want you to understand…I been dreaming about you for years. For years…I sat up in my bed, thinking of you. For years, I laid in the grass in the middle of the night wondering what you were doing. Wondering if you were wondering about me. I’m a Dreamer. In a morally dead society, I do believe dreams come true. Many may think I’m foolish, but I believe in true Love. I believe it can be achieved and I hope you do too. During the short time I’ve known you, I enjoyed every bit of you.

You are my Queen. I look at you and see the sexiest being I ever laid eyes on. You’re a down-to-earth, cool, selfless, committed, driven individual. You believe in me and my dreams, and I appreciate that. I don’t take that for granted. You make me smile. I love your laugh. The way you hug me tightly. Your cooking. Your delicious lips…your kiss and so much more.

There’s so much I want to share and want you to understand. You can believe by the time I finish writing this, I would have dissected every word, every line before this reaches your delicate hands. At the end of this, I want you to know that my thoughts of you transcend all languages. No words could ever translate my feelings for you….

Late-Night Thoughts...

Before I crash tonight...just want to get some thoughts off my chest.

I just wanted to send a reminder.... There are two types of people in this world: The ones that chase dreams...and the ones that give up and die. Seriously think...which one are you?

Life is hard. Happiness is not something that's given. For years, I wondered why I suffered so much crap from this world. Sometimes...it was my fault. I didn't know how to let certain things or people go. But other times...I realize it was all divine training. God was training me and molding me...and He still is. His kingdom is an inheritance. But what king gives an inheritance without proper training? Getting saved is only the beginning. Even the devil believes in God. But the real fun begins on your path to spiritual maturity.

Throughout this life, I meet many people. I meet many many people that start things, dreams, endeavors, ideas...whatever you want to call them, but never finish. They never get it done. But why? Lack of passion? yes. Lack of drive? yes. But I know why people don't finish. The real question is...what were they thinking? What was the thought process when they decided to simply...stop chasing this bright idea? This big vision that they had? Even better question...how is life after burying the dream? Are they aware that they're walking dead? Is there a sense of un-fulfillment? Gots to be.

Everybody wants to be happy, but too many looking for Happiness to be handed to them...without work, sacrifice, pain. How selfish are we really?

Me personally...I go to bed thinking...why is God keeping me alive to see another day? I'm not living to satisfy myself and my desires. I'm alive to fulfill a will...God's Will. His will of spreading his love and changing the world one person at a time. Being a blessing to someone. ....when was the last time you blessed someone? Or are you one of the ones that's always looking out for self and not others.

just a 24hr. note. goodnight.