What am I going to do with you?...

"What am I going to do with you?..."

That's her response in laughter to my words. My random thoughts and sayings tickle her so much. I can imagine her almost sharing tears laughing as I tell her about my day.

"What am I going to do with you?...", she says jokingly. But at the same time, I know she is serious. Its funny how we both laugh as we lie together in the dark. Her warm smooth skin, snugged right next to me. I enjoy our nightly pillowtalk. But we're both asking ourselves the very same question. What are we going to do? As much as I stay to myself, I occasionally find myself in these "complex" situations. Many say Love is complex. I disagree, because what most of us experience isn't Love...its like "Pre-Love". Its like you're riding the path to Love and once you realize you're on that path...you become scared. And you scared, because you become vulnerable. You're vulnerable because this path cannot be predicted. You're riding the path blindly, taking your chances. It's risky, its a thrill, its scary, but you loving every second of it. :) At the same time, you're thinking of that old saying: "Hope for the best, expect the worst.” But I try not to bother myself with these thoughts during these moments. I enjoy her company. She enjoy mine. Simple as that.

We haven’t known each other long. But we talk as if we been the best of friends for months. Its crazy. I love it when I can have initial chemistry but it really bother me when its too good, you know? I have this personal belief that its good to keep the fire going, but not blazing for too long…or else it will burn out. So I try to walk this fine line of keeping the fire burning constantly at a steady pace. It’s apparent that our feelings disagree. Each word, each moment drives our emotions crazy. We found ourselves at this passionate stage of our friendship so fast. I hate it. I love it. I’m scared as hell. Remember “Disappearance of Innocence”? (reference: the first book, The Queen and I) I’m really trying not to relive that. But who knows what the future holds? …well, besides God of course. Lol.

We have this saying…”Don’t run from it!!!” *smiles* We talk, we play, we wrestle. Get to the point when she pins me down. (I always let her win.) She’s on top of me. She looks down on me with this pretty smile. I’m looking up enjoying the view. And this time, she says again…”What am I going to do with you? Maybe I need to stop talking to you.” I smile and tell her, “Don’t run from it!!! Embrace it!!!” and I proceed to tickle her. I really care about her.

I imagine most of us been through this before. You meet someone. It starts out so innocent and casual. Then BAMMM!!!! Your emotions are running wild. You have no control. That fire of passion is burning hot and fast. All you can do is hold on and try not to let go. ….but then, the season is over so soon. It’s short-lived. And I don’t want that to happen with this. I hope and like to see this grow. But what can we do but wait and see?...

(thinking silently…)

I’ve learned or at least I think I did…we shouldn’t over analyze these situations or over-complicate them. Just take it back to the basics… I enjoy her. She enjoy me. That is all that matters right now…